I’m a part-time professor of English. I am trying to make myself write more. I ride a big pink bike. I like to imagine that I am the next Martha Stewart, but then I burn the pan or stitch a crooked seam. I will buy a random, useless object if it has Hello Kitty on it. I was Marie Antoinette in a past life (because I say so). I enjoy watching sports. I like to drink beer. I don’t believe there is such a thing as owning too many shoes. I think that sentences that begin with “I” are the best kind.